Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. One never knows who they might meet in a strip club. Please read on to learn of that which I speak.

Courtney Cummz

Thursday, May 15Th, I went to the City of Industry Spearmint Rhino to spend the evening with Courtney Cummz and to observe both of her shows of the evening.

The first time Courtney ventured onto the stage, she wore a costume that consisted of a set of black cat ears on her head, a black bra, a black thong with a small black tail and a pair of black, high-heeled, shoes with platform soles of moderate height.

Courtney ended this show with a lotion bit, then tossed out several large posters and a couple of DVDs to the, ''loudest,'' customers.

She performed this show to rock and hip hop music.

Courtney started her final show of the evening wearing a bikini bra, a very small pair of shorts and a pair of flared leggings that went from approximately mid-thigh to the floor. Beneath her shorts, Courtney wore a thong that came dangerously close to being a G-string. All of the aforementioned articles of clothing were a color that fell somewhere between a pink and a magenta. To finish out the costume, she wore what appeared to be the same black shoes she wore during her first show.

Courtney performed this show to pop and rock music which included, ''Welcome to the Jungle.''

Ms. Cummz finished this show with a hot candle wax bit, then a game of cooter ball. Anybody who managed to land a dollar bill in the glass got a nice 8X10 photo of Courtney. Anyone who landed a ten dollar bill in the glass got one of Courtney's DVDs.

Courtney got so close to the residents of the tip rail, and made the game so easy, only one young fellow managed to miss on his first try. However, Courtney encouraged him to give it one more try, and he made it. So, his 8X10 cost him two dollars instead of one. (I still don't understand how he could have possibly missed the first time. I didn't, and my eyes are getting old and tired! Maybe somebody should have loaned him a pair of glasses.)

Courtney gives very good interaction with the denizens of the tip rail. (her interaction with myself and one female customer was even better. No, she didn't play with the lady and I at the same time. What do I look like, lucky?)

Ms. Cummz is a beautiful young woman who stands five feet six and one half inches tall, weighs one hundred twenty-five pounds and measures a lovely 34B-25-36. And, her body is all natural.

Courtney is very friendly, has an excellent sense of humor, and she is very articulate. She also enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans.

I do recommend that anybody who might get the opportunity should go to a nearby club to see Courtney perform and to meet her in person. I do not believe they would be disappointed.

Courtney can be ogled at: CourtneyCummz.com

Teanna Kai

Friday, May 16Th, I drove out to the Rialto Spearmint Rhino to spend a little time with Teanna Kai and to observe her first two shows of the evening. (I might have stayed for all three of her shows, but I didn't get enough sleep the night before. When I have over thirty miles between myself and my house, and I start feeling sleepy, it is time to call it a night!)

Hey, check this out people. I actually got to the club early enough to say hello to Teanna and to get a hug from her when she first arrived. That's right people, I actually beat the feature to the club for a change. How about that?!

For Teanna's first show of the evening, she wore an artificial red flower in her hair. Her costume had short, puffy, white sleeves. The sleeves had one red bow each, and they were not connected to any other part of the costume. Teanna also wore a white mini-dress. The dress had red lines that divided it into small white squares. The dress also had puffy white material over the breasts and a horizontal red stripe that ran across the front beneath the breasts. There was a bow in the middle of the red stripe, and the bow had one white button on each end. Beneath the dress, Teanna wore a matching bra and thong. The bra and thong were completely covered with red, yellow, blue, and green dots, circles, spots, balls, balloons, or whatever anybody wants to call them. (the bra and thong made me instantly think of Wonder Bread.) the bra also had two small, cherry red, balls hanging from the bottom edge between the breast cups. On her legs, Teanna wore a pair of knee-high, white, fishnet hose, and on her feet, she wore a pair of white, platform-soled, spike-heeled, shoes.

Teanna performed this show to rock music, I think.

At the beginning of her second show, Teanna wore a black fedora-style hat, a pair of black gloves that were almost so long as her arms, a red corselet that was trimmed in black and laced up the back, and a shear, black, mini-dress like piece. Beneath all this, Teanna wore a red bra, the breast cups of which were covered with silver sequins that were arranged in a design of sorts. She also wore a black garter belt, a pair of shear, black, hose, and a pair of red, platform-soled, stiletto-heeled shoes, and that was it. She wore no shorts, panties, thong, G-string, nada! (My kind of lady!)

Teanna performed this show to pop and rock music.

During this show, and once she was nude, her roadie handed her an impressive dildo which she proceeded to have a lot of fun with.

After the show, I mentioned to Teanna that she should not ever do that particular part of the show anywhere in Alabama. I told her that she should, in fact, never take any type of a sex toy to Alabama with her, should she ever have any reason to go to Alabama.

I was a little surprised that Teanna was unaware of the fact that the state of Alabama passed a law against selling any sort of sex toys a few years ago. And if I remember correctly, the law also outlaws the ownership and possession of any types of sex toys. Then, within the last year, the Alabama State Supreme Court upheld the law. Talk about a bunch of Bible-thumping, hypocritical, jerk-water politicians forcing their personal religious beliefs down the throats of everybody else!

Wasn't it in Alabama that some cretin shot and paralyzed Larry Flynt? No, wait a minute. That happened in Georgia. Oh well, the main difference between Alabama and Georgia is a shared border. Yes, I am a southerner. However, I long ago moved to the left coast for many good reasons, and not wanting people sticking their noses in my business was one of them!

After each show, Teanna tossed out a few 8X10s, a few posters, a magazine and one of her DVDs to the audience.

Teanna is five feet three inches tall, weighs one hundred four pounds, and measures 32C-23-34.

Now Teanna herself gave me her statistics. However, in the April 2008 issue of Stiletto Magazine, her measurements are listed as being 34C-23-34.

Here is another discrepancy. Several times now I have reported that Teanna is an Asian-American lady. However, the same issue of Stiletto lists Teanna as being Hawaiian-Filipina. Now I don't know whether that means she is an American who is of half-Hawaiian and half-Filipino descent, or if she might be an American from Hawaii who is of Filipino descent. Guess what? I really don't care. What I do know is that Teanna is a very sexy young woman who looks great regardless of her origins!

Teanna is quite friendly, very well spoken, smart, and she enjoys meeting and conversing with her fans.

She is also a good performer. I'm certain this is partly because of the fact that she loves performing on stage for her fans. And, her interaction with randomly selected tip rail patrons is good.

Of course, I do recommend that nobody ever pass up an opportunity to get out to a club to see Teanna perform and to meet her in person. I feel certain that they will enjoy the experience.

Check Teanna out at: TeannaKaiLive.com

While I was in the Rialto Rhino on this night, I met a new dancer who calls herself Beth Stone. Beth is originally from Wales but has no British accent since she came to America when she was just a baby in arms.

Beth told me that she wants very much to enter into the adult film industry. Based on what she said to me during our conversation and an e-mail she sent me two days later, I am convinced that she is in fact serious.

Beth is a good looking blonde, and if she can perform in front of a camera as well as she looks, I feel that she would do well in the industry.

I have Beth's e-mail address, so if anybody such as Pamela Peaks, Shy Love, Tony Batman, Wankus, Derek Hay, my editor-in-chief, etc., might be interested in speaking with Beth, I can put them in contact with her.

The only other feature dancers performing on this particular weekend that I was aware of were Shy Love at the Oxnard Spearmint Rhino and Renee Perez at the Santa Barbara Spearmint Rhino.

As much as I would have loved to spend some time with Shy and/or Renee, I decided to stay home on Saturday night. It is eighty-three and one half miles from my house to the Oxnard Rhino, and it is one hundred nineteen miles from my place to the Santa Barbara Rhino. Therefore, if I had managed to hit both clubs in time to catch both ladies during the same evening, it would have constituted a two hundred forty-one mile round trip. Given the high price of fuel and the danger of falling asleep at the wheel on the way home, possibly killing myself and maybe other more innocent people, I wisely decided that I had enjoyed enough fun for one weekend.

And, that will do it for another week. We should all meet back here the next time to continue the discussion of gorgeous, sexy, women. Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer