Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. In my last column, I stated that jessica drake could be visited at: jessicadrake.com. While there is a link on that page, it would be best for people to go to: jessicadrakeonline.com I do apologize for that slip up. I should have known better! Now then, let us move on to the discussion of hot women!

Brooke Haven

Thursday, October 4Th, I drove to the downtown Los Angeles Spearmint Rhino to say hello to Brooke Haven and to observe both of her shows of the evening.

For her first show, Brooke wore elbow-length pink gloves decorated with small silvery sequins scattered here and there, a black bikini bra with a large pink ribbon between the cups, and black bikini bottoms with pink bows, one toward the front and one toward the back of each of her hips. Beneath the bikini bottoms, Brooke wore a black G-string. To finish things out, she wore black, knee-length, imitation fur leg warmers and black, platform-soled, stiletto-heeled shoes.

During her second show, Brooke wore an off-the-shoulder, long-sleeved, pink, fishnet midriff top, a white string bikini bra and a very short, pleated, pink plaid mini skirt. (Can a plaid be pink or vice versa?) the skirt had a two inch wide black waist band that appeared as if it were a belt. Beneath the skirt, Brooke wore a white G-string. Lastly, she wore black, knee-length, leg warmers and a pair of white, platform-soled, stiletto-heeled shoes.

Brooke performed both of her shows to rock music.

In the time I've known her, Brooke Haven has become a good feature. She performs well on stage, and her interaction with the residents of the tip rail is very good.

The lovely Brooke is a very sexy lady with a good-looking body, a very nice personality, and a good sense of humor. She also has a brain and is very well spoken. And guess what, she truly enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans.

I do recommend that everybody who gets an opportunity to do so should get to a club to see Brooke perform and to meet her in person. I do believe they will enjoy the experience.

Check Brooke out at: BrookeHaven.com

Krystal Steal

Friday, October 5Th, I drove up to the Blue Zebra Cabaret, in North Hollywood, to say hello to Krystal Steal and to observe her first two shows of the evening.

For her first show of the evening, Krystal wore a costume that consisted of a black piece of clothing that was a combination corset and very small mini-skirt. This piece was laced up the front with a wide purple ribbon. It was also trimmed with pieces of ruffled gold lace, several purple ribbon bows, and bits of purple and gold coloring scattered about. Beneath this, she wore a short gold dress with three quarter length sleeves that ended in a long hanging piece of lace on each sleeve. Under the dress, Krystal wore a black bra and thong-like panties set. Both of these pieces were decorated similar to the corset mini-skirt combo. Beneath her panties, she wore a black G-string. Krystal also wore a black garter belt which held up a pair of purple fishnet hose. Her footwear was a pair of black, knee-high, platform-soled, stiletto-heeled boots that laced up the front.

During her second show, Krystal wore a black top hat, a black corset that ended in a very short mini-skirt affair that was open from the waist down in front. This item was decorated with bands of black lace. Beneath the corset, Krystal wore a white dress-like item that was open from the waist down in front and trailed a few inches on the floor behind her. The dress was secured in the front with a wide ribbon that laced from between Krystal's breasts down to her waist. I could be wrong, but the ribbon appeared to be black. It was hard to tell under the colored stage lights, and I forgot to ask Krystal about it. Krystal also wore a black bra and thong panties set. Beneath the panties, she wore an even smaller thong. Under the second thong, she wore a black G-string. For footwear, Krystal wore what seemed to be the same boots. That was alright with me. Those boots went perfectly with both costumes.

Krystal's interaction with a few randomly selected tip rail patrons is reasonably good.

Krystal performed both of the shows I observed to rock music.

Krystal Steal is a very pretty woman. In fact, one of the waitresses even said so to me. I believe the waitress stated that she thought Krystal was the prettiest feature she had ever seen at that club. Krystal has a beautiful body, blonde on top of black hair, a style that I am getting used to. I admit that I didn't think to much of it the first time I saw a woman with her hair colored that way, but I have finally come around. Hey, it looks good on the right women, and Krystal is certainly one of those, "right women."

I always find Krystal Steal to be rather charming, well spoken, having a good sense of humor, and she always appears to enjoy meeting her fans.

I do not believe anybody could go wrong by going to a club to see Krystal perform and to meet her in person.

Pay a visit to Krystal at: KrystalSteal.com

As it turned out, Lizzy Borden was there for Krystal's first show. While waiting at the tip rail for the show to start, I couldn't help but notice that a blonde haired woman and two men kept on looking at me from across the stage. Just about the time I was beginning to get rather paranoid, I found myself thinking, "That woman looks very familiar, and I think she is Lizzy Borden."

After the show, and as I was walking toward the area of the bar, I came face to face with the woman in question. Because I was deep in thought with my head somewhere off in a distant county, I draw a complete and very embarrassing blank, when she gave me a great hug and said, "It's great to see you." We exchanged pleasantries and I then admitted I was drawing a blank. She smiled graciously and said, "I'm Lizzy Borden." I do believe my ensuing embarrassment amused her. (Give me a break. That was only the fourth, maybe the fifth time I can remember every being in Lizzy's presence.) Lizzy and I chatted for a few moments, then she went to Krystal's dressing room, while I continued to the bar area to wait for Krystal to come out for her signing.

Tera Patrick

Saturday night, I went to the City of Industry Spearmint Rhino to observe one of Tera Patrick's shows and to say hello.

Unfortunately, I was running late. (So what else is new?) Let me say here and now, running late and driving along day dreaming away deep in thought, especially on a dark night, is seriously a bad idea. Even though he told me that he had fallen in behind me a mile back, I didn't see the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department patrol car until he lit me up about half a mile from the club.

There I sat, thinking, he is simply doing his job, and you do deserve a ticket, if not for speeding, then for being too stupid to pay attention to the world around you. You do know better, or at least you should by now.

When the deputy came back to my car, he handed me my paperwork and said, "Do me a favor. Slow down, or somebody will write you a ticket."

I immediately gushed, "Thanks you very much officer, I mean deputy. I truly do appreciate you giving me a break." I did just about everything but ask him to where I should mail his Christmas card in December!

He then asked me what my ILoveGauge.com license plate bracket meant, and I took the time to explain it to him. (Gauge gave me that license plate bracket so long ago, I tend to forget it is back there.)

Needless-to-say, I just missed the first show and had to stick around until 1 Am to observe Tera's final show of the gig. But enough of that, let us get back to the subject of Tera herself.

For the one show I was able to see, Tera wore a black leather collar with a steel ring in the front and a black leather wristband on each wrist. She also wore a long sleeved, black, latex vinyl jacket and a very short, black, latex vinyl mini-skirt. Additionally, Tera wore a black bra, a black, latex vinyl corset with a florescent green panel in front and and another in the back back. The corset was held together with black lacing in the back. Next, she wore a pair of transparent black bikini panties. On her legs, she wore a pair of black fishnet hose. To finish out the costume, Tera wore a pair of almost mid-thigh high, black, stiletto-heeled boots that had open lacing on the outside of her legs.

I have never followed Tera's feature gigs the way I do so many of the other features for various reasons of my own. However, for at least two months now, Nakita Kash has been asking me to go catch at least one of Tera's shows. It seems that Nakita has been giving Tera some lessons in feature dancing, and she wanted to get my opinion on how Tera was doing. For various reasons, this was the first time that I have been able to see Tera since Nakita made her first request of me .

I am actually rather glad that Nakita talked me into going to see Tera perform. I every much enjoyed watching her performance.

I saw Tera perform the first time she ever danced at the City of Industry Spearmint Rhino, which was her first time dancing at a Rhino, and only her second time dancing at all. I am happy to report that Tera is apparently a very good student, because she has vastly improved as a performer since that first time I saw her. In fact, I believe I just might rethink things and start going to see Tera perform from time to time. I feel safe in saying that the lady has become a very good feature. She performed very well on stage, and from what I was able to observe from the back of the room (the tip rail was full before the Dj even began to do Tera's introduction.), her interaction with the customers is quite adequate.

Unfortunately, while I have been exposed to Tera enough times now for her to know my face, I've never really had the time to sit down and chat with her. This is mainly because of the fact that she is still drawing large crowds to the clubs, and still has long lines of customers wanting to meet her and buy Polaroids, etc., from her. However, even though I haven't had time to chat with her, she does seem to be a friendly enough person, and she is very well spoken. Also, she seems to be quite intelligent. If she weren't, how else would she be able to create and operate her own production company?

I do now feel safe in saying that anybody who ever gets the opportunity to go out to a club to see Tera Patrick perform and to meet her in person should absolutely not allow said opportunity to slip past them! I am certain anybody who does catch one of Tera's shows will be entertained! Besides, how often does the average Joe or Jill get a chance to meet a lady who has made her own way to the cover of FHM Magazine, and whose name has become a household word?

Pay a visit to Tera's official site at: ClubTera.com

Okay good people, that will be it once again. Why don't we all meet back here the next time to continue our discussion of hot, sexy, women? Until then, everybody stay safe, have a wonderful week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer