Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. I'm sitting here wondering if I might somehow look stupid. Thursday night, April 6Th, I had just sat down at the tip rail for the feature's show, when a house girl I don't remember ever seeing before pulled out the chair next to me, looked at me and asked, "Do you want to give me some money to tip her? Do you want to be my sugar daddy?" I looked up at her and said, "No I don't, Hon. I really can't afford you." She gave me a strange look, then walked to the other side of the stage, where a couple of young men must have said yes to her lame scam. I'm making that assumption, because she sat down between them.

Now had she been sitting and chatting with me when the D.J. announced that the feature was coming up next, I might have asked her to join me at the rail. If that had been the case, then I would have happily given her a couple of dollars to tip the feature with.

Come on ladies, try all you want to sell me dances, or even to buy you a drink. I realize where I am, and I know it is your job. But, do not think that, because I have a southern accent, I just fell off the turnip truck yesterday! Doing your job is one thing. Attempting to sucker the customers, especially me, out of free money is something else entirely!

Okay, that's enough of that. Let us now move on to the discussion of gorgeous women!

Lexie Marie

Thursday evening, April 6Th, I went up to the Rouge Gentlemen's Club, in Van Nuys, to say hello to Lexie Marie and to observe one of her shows.

Since I have written about Lexie Marie a few times in the recent past, I'll just say that she is a lovely, blonde haired, women with a nice looking body.

Also, she is friendly, sweet, sexy, and performs so well as many of the features I've seen. And, her interaction with the tip rail customers is quite adequate.

Lexie Marie is well worth a trip to a local club; therefore, if any of my readers ever get an opportunity to see Lexie Marie perform and to meet her in person, don't allow said opportunity to slip by.

LexieMarie.com appears to still be under construction. However, some good pictures of Lexie Marie can be found at: LADirectModels.com

Jersey

Friday afternoon, April 7Th, I went to the Van Nuys Spearmint Rhino to catch the matinee show of Jersey, "Spearmint Rhino Entertainer of the Year," 2006.

I've written about Jersey once before, but what the heck, I think I'll go into detail once again.

For starters, while Jersey isn't a, "Real," feature, she certainly should be! The lady is a better performer and more entertaining than several, "Real," features I've seen over the last couple of years.

For her matinee show, Jersey came onto the stage wearing a tan trench coat, a Sherlock Holmes style hunting cap, and carrying a large magnifying glass with which she closely examined every single tip rail patron from their heads to their crotches!

Jersey soon discarded the magnifying glass, the cap, and the trench coat, revealing a very sexy, black, halter and panties set which was encrusted with sparkly, silvery, studs, a matching garter belt, and black fishnet stockings. This costume was finished off with a pair of silver, high heeled shoes. Knowing me, I might not have even noticed the shoes had this very limber young lady not bend one of her legs back far enough to do oral with the heel of that particular shoe while hanging upside down from the pole. (Jersey is very good on the pole.)

Jersey's music is always good and appropriate for her shows, and her interaction with the tip rail people is quite good.

Jersey is very sweet and seriously friendly. Also, not only is she beautiful, but she has a fantastic looking, all natural, body. In fact, I told Jersey that any man who would not want her body would have to be so queer as a three dollar bill. (My apologies to the gay community.)

If any of my readers happen to get a chance to see Jersey perform at a nearby Spearmint Rhino before this year is over, do not miss out. There might never be another opportunity! However, I have been telling Jersey that she should see about getting some magazine layouts and becoming a touring feature after her E.O.T.Y reign has ended.

Speaking of magazine work, Jersey is on the cover of, and has a layout, in the current issue of Private Dancer Magazine. (Yes, I picked one up at the club and had Jersey autograph it for me.)

I forgot to ask Jersey if her website is working yet. I'll try to do better the next time I see her.

The Dynamic Duo

After saying goodbye to Jersey, I crept and crawled down the I-405 (San Diego Freeway) to the Fantasy Castle, in Signal Hill, to see and meet Lauren Powers and Gayle Moher, "The Dynamic Duo," two body builders turned feature dancers.

Thanks to extremely heavy traffic on the I-405 causing me to take two hours to get down to the Long Beach/Signal Hill area, and bad directions causing me to end up lost and going around in circles in San Pedro for an hour before finally finding the gas station I was looking for, I got to the club barely in time to catch the last third of the ladies first show of the evening. Unfortunately, one show was all I had time for. (I can only hope that the club books them again during this year.)

Oh yes, if anybody might be wondering why I was looking for that gas station, the current price for unleaded regular at that place is $2.49 per gallon! The next best price I know of is $2.79 per gallon. At a savings of thirty cents a gallon, I still saved money in spite of taking the one hour grand cook's tour of the San Pedro waterfront area. (it is amazing how easily one can lose track of the Vincent Thomas Bridge. As tall as the bridge is, it can still be somewhat difficult to see through tall hills.)

Okay, let's get back to the Duo.

I really didn't notice what music they were dancing to, but apparently it was good. I think I would have noticed had it been bad and/or inappropriate.

I also can't really describe the ladies costumes, since, for the most part, they had already been discarded by the time I got into the club, and I didn't notice any pieces of material lying around on the stage.

I did see enough of the show to know that is was a rather unique combination of dancing, physique posing, and simulated girl/girl action.

Also, the ladies interaction with the tip rail inhabitants was so good as possible in this particular club and location, including bringing customers, myself included, up onto the stage and allowing them to spray whipped cream onto their breasts. Once the whipped cream was applied, the ladies would place a cherry in the middle of the whipped cream, then manually feed said cherries to the customers. The only other alternative, which is most commonly seen, isn't allowed in this club, no doubt because of local ordinances. Come to think of it, I've never thought to ask. Maybe this is a conscience and cautious thought of the club's management with an eye toward hopefully preventing any local jerk water politicians from making any loud noises about a need to shut down such dens of iniquity. (Yes, I'm saying that sarcastically. Any regular readers I may have should by now be well aware of the fact that I have absolutely no use for any third rate politician who attempts to garner votes by constantly making loud noises about how they are going to personally shut down all strip clubs. They are nothing but bald faced hypocrites, and I despise hypocrites.)

I think I can safely say, these ladies performances are rather unique in of of themselves.

Gayle and Lauren seem to be relatively intelligent and friendly ladies.

I wouldn't mind seeing these two ladies perform again sometime, and I would like for my readers to get out to a local club to see and meet, "The Dynamic Duo," if they are ever presented with an opportunity to do so.

Get acquainted with Lauren at: LaurenPowers.com Also, check out Gayle at: GayleMoher.com

Leslie Culton

Saturday morning, April 8Th, I woke up at 8 am and immediately checked out a couple of things on the computer. The next thing I knew, it was 10 am.

I then started thinking about how I didn't feel so well rested as I would have liked, the ridiculously high price of gasoline, and the fact that the night before, my executive vice president in charge of back seat driving had been making noises that caused me to feel she didn't want me to make the trip I had planned for whatever reason. Because of all that, I decided not to go to Phoenix after all.

Then, about 1:15 pm, my other half asked, "Why aren't you in Phoenix?" After a brief discussion, she said, "I don't really mind if you want to go." At that point, I thought, "Oh hell, why not?!" So, I quickly freshened up, changed clothes, loaded my car, and left the house at 3:08 pm. I arrived in Phoenix around 8:15 pm.

Speeding? Naw. I was merely flying very low!

I almost got busted twice. However, my luck held out, and I saw the California Highway Patrol officer and the Arizona Highway Patrol trooper before they saw me. (Aren't good brakes wonderful?!)

Once in Phoenix, I spent the evening at Stevi Secret's Nude Cabaret, where I met Leslie Culton(Pronounced Colton, as in Colton, California.) and observed three of her shows.

Leslie is a lovely woman with long, dark, hair and an absolutely luscious body. She is also a B grade horror movie actress, a men's magazine model, a pro wrestler, and, of course, an award winning feature dancer.

Leslie has appeared in such low budget classics as Hookers in a Haunted House, April Fools, Terror at Tate Manor, Night Vamps 2, Revenge of the Invisible Nerds, Drainiac, the House that Screamed 2 and many more. Besides the fun flicks Leslie Culton has appeared in numerous men's magazines including Hustler, Cheri, Club, Leg Show. Leslie also holds various titles for her feature dancing. (I must give credit to Steve, a.K.a. The Phoenix DJ, since my last three sentences are a modified version of material gleaned from a post he made in one of Stevi Secret's Yahoo! groups. Thanks Steve. I'm certain you won't mind.)

After Leslie's first two shows of the evening, I was prepared to say that, while her costumes weren't too elaborate, they were still quite colorful and very sexy. However, the costume Leslie wore for the final show of this gig, was rather elaborate and quite beautiful, so it would appear obvious that she has a rather wide range of costumes from which to choose.

Leslie performs very well, and it would appear to me that her shows are generally very high energy. In fact, she actually does some dancing during her shows, and she is quite good at it.

It would seem that Leslie's musical selections are always very good and appropriate for her various shows, and her interaction with the customers is excellent.

Leslie struck me as being very friendly and seems to have a very good sense of humor. I know I thoroughly enjoyed every second of my conversations with her!

In my honest opinion, Leslie Culton is one of the best features on the circuit at this time, and I highly recommend a trip to a nearby club to see and meet her in person.

Leslie can be visited at: LeslieCulton.com

Stevi has a new dancer called Delicious. Well, she is new at Stevi's club, but she has been dancing for about a year and a half. Delicious is a good dancer, and she does some very good pole work. She is a very good looking, sexy, black girl with a set of the most fabulous buns one is ever likely to run into! While the club was too busy on this night for Delicious and I to chat much, she seems to be a very nice, friendly, young woman.

If any of my readers are ever in the Phoenix area, drop by Stevi Secret's Nude Cabaret, find Delicious, introduce yourselves, and possibly buy a few dances.

Babe's Cabaret

Before leaving Phoenix Sunday morning, I pigged out at Pancho's Mexican Buffet, of course. Once my tummy was stuffed nearly to the point of exploding, I drove into Scottsdale, where I checked out Jenna Jameson's Babe's Cabaret located at 2011 Scottsdale Road approximately two miles north of the 202 freeway on the east side of the street.

While in Jenna's club, I met George the bartender who is a very nice, friendly fellow. I also met the beautiful Maxine and the gorgeous Heather. Both ladies have are very friendly, and have great senses of humor. Heather has a sexy, all natural body. Maxine's body is also extremely desirable and appears to be all natural, although she and I never discussed the subject.

Both of these ladies perform well on stage, and Maxine has a very good habit of making a lot of eye contact with the costumers, which is something I find quite appealing.

There was also a hot little Latina, who's name I never caught, doing a good job of dancing that afternoon. I think the DJ referred to her as Shyla, or Shy something or other.

All in all, I was very impressed with Jenna's place, her staff, and her dancers.

Since she is one of the current owners, Jenna Jameson is known to pop up in the club now and then. I'm also told that Ashton Moore is a frequent visitor to the club, as well as a few other adult film stars.

If any of my readers are ever in the area, drop in and check out Jenna's cabaret. I do believe they will enjoy the experience. By the way, Babe's is a topless bar and therefore serves alcohol.

Well, I do believe this week's column is more than long enough, so I will shut up for now. Until next time, everybody stay safe and have a wonderful week!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer