(WASHINGTON, DC) -- With the advent of a preponderance of spam email we citizens need to ask for the help of our government! The average pornographer's message is being lost in the tide of unwanted spam!

The Canned Spam Act was fine to get things started. We must all thank Monty Python for enlightening the world about Spam.

Now, however, we must all take things one step further and make the Internet safe for legitimate pornographers by censoring the un-legitimate kind! If each of us write at least one email to each of the government officials listed below and demand that we only receive authentic porno from actual pornographers and not those hack pornographers that send out Spam, then maybe we can get down to business!

Oh, and don't forget to say something positive to our esteemed leaders like "keep up the good work", or even something truthful like "have a nice day". After all, we voted them in and as soon as we're done kicking our own asses we can vote them right out!

...And if you can't write all of them just write to one and tell him what you think. Our esteemed politicians need to know how we feel!

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