August 18, 2005 03:08am
Ask a Swinger: Do Escorts/Swingers Fall in Love?
by: Company Press Release
Do Escorts and Swingers Fall in Love? Is it just sex, or do you develop feeling for others? Can it happen? Does it happen? Do people in the lifestyle fall in love? Do couples in the lifestyle go from happy to divorced because of the lifestyle? How about escorts, is it always business, or can feelings develop?
This week I received questions from my readers asking if people in the lifestyle ever cross the line and develop feelings? One e mail came to me from a provider concerning dating. Please read this weeks letters.
My wife and I have always wanted to spice up our marriage, so we tried swinging. Our marriage has been on the rocks for the past 4 years and we thought it would be erotic.
We visited a local swing club a few times, my wife loved it. I noticed my wife spent most of the evening talking with this guy who is 20 years older. I felt safe, but a little jealous.
Every Saturday night she wanted to visit the club. As soon as we arrived, she would meet up with her new found friend and spend the entire night with him in a private room. I decided this is not working out, so I told her we are not going back.
She is so upset, she is thinking about moving out, maybe even divorce. Please tell me what to do?
I think you both missed the first rule of swinging. It is only good for healthy, secure couples. If your marriage was on the rocks, going to a swing club will not help. It sounds like your wife has developed feeling for this guy and it might be the end of your marriage, but remember, if she is unhappy, she can meet someone at the local grocery store or on the internet.
My advice is to seek professional counseling, either a relationship coach or a marriage therapist.
I read a comment you made on a national escort review board. I am falling in love with my ATF ( all time favorite) escort. She is my age, we get along great, but she tries to keep it all business. I think the energy between us is really strong. Any suggestions?
If you are asking me if it ever happens, I would say sometimes, but not often. Most providers that I know like to keep business and pleasure separate. A good provider will give you that GFE (girl friend experience) so you will feel like she is falling in love with you. Truth is, she might just be a really good professional escort?
But if you are one of the lucky ones, and you met a nice provider, please remember these simple rules.
1) Most providers are not looking to be rescued. That is only in the movie, Pretty Woman. We love what we do and do not need to be rescued.
2) Most providers will have their guard up, since they are risking sharing their private life with a paying client. Also, she will most likely be losing a paying client if she starts to date you.
3) Before you try to move the relationship forward, remember she is a provider, you know what she does for a living, don't try to change her.
4) Remember, most providers see married men. I don't know of any providers who are seeking a relationship with a married guy.
If you think she wants to try seeing you off the clock, on a real date, be sure you can handle the emotions that come from dating a professional escort. Most relationships have trouble staying together, now add to the fact that your girlfriend will be dating 2 to 10 other guys each week. This is what usually ends provider relationships.
I am a provider on the west coast. I read your comment on the national review board. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I am single, nice looking, make fabulous money and have no real baggage except that I date professionally.
I am lonely, I want a boyfriend, maybe even a husband. I know you always comment that it can work with the right man. How come I just can't find the right man?
I met a client, he is really classy. He brought me flowers and candy. We hit it off really well. Soon I found myself staying with him for three hours and only charging him for one. I would like to take our friendship to a new level. What if it does not work? What if he can't handle the fact that I am an escort?
Being a provider, I thought you would know better than anyone. What is your advice?
A West Coast Provider
Dear fellow provider,
I hear this all the time. The single ladies are always complaining they can't find a boyfriend who is husband material. I think there are some relationship issues when one of you is a provider.
The ladies seem to feel that the men start to look down on them for their choice of professions. The men seem to not be able to accept the ladies choice of professions. This ultimately becomes a major issue and ends in a breakup.
My advice is to first see how you met? Was it on a paid session or through a friend. If you met outside of the business, then make sure he knows what you do for a living. Yes, some men are naive and when they find out, they get really upset.
If you met as client / provider, I would make sure you both fully understand the boundaries. So many providers tell me that they meet a really great guy, things start out really good, then the guy develops this attitude like we are less of a person for being a provider.
This will usually end a relationship and cause some damaged emotions. Try not to use the profession as a tool in your disputes.
Hope this helps.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.