August 03, 2005 12:20am
Ask a Swinger: Why Men Hobby
Source: Julie Wild
by: Company Press Release
Why Men Hobby? I am not talking about Golf, I am referring to men who hire escorts. One of the most common questions I receive from female readers is "why do men hire escorts?" the most common question I receive from male readers seems to be "how do I get my wife to try swinging?" is there a relationship between the two? Read below to see this weeks comments to these questions.
In response to your question, why men hobby? I've been married for 17 years. I'm between A and B.
(A) My wife is only willing to have sex when her hormones are right. Around ovulation, and right before her period. That means I get it about 3 times a month. I would prefer 3 times per week.
(B) in addition, she is not adventurous in bed. Basic missionary. Maybe a minute or two with her on top, or doggie style. If she is really horny, then I might get a minute or two of oral, and she is doesn't want CIM. However, she does like to receive extended oral.
I hobbied for a few months 10 years ago, and will end this phase of hobbying after a few months. Hopefully the memories will last another 10 years. Too much risk in hobbying while married.
When I hobby, I look for GFE/personal connection. I'm 43, and my ATF is a 20 year old who just started and will soon be ending her escort career. Look's wise, she is an 8, but I find her very attractive. She isn't cut out to be an escort because she needs to be attracted to the man in order to provide him full service. I'm no looker myself, but I treated her with respect, took the time to get to know her, and she responded. She views our time together as real dates. When we have sex, it is like making love. If I were not married and 20 years younger, I think we would be dating.
She told me she lives with her boyfriend (long story, and additional incentive to retire), and that sex with him has declined to a couple of times per month. I suggested that she do it more often to fill his needs.
I hope this helps. Robert
Thanks for sharing the your experiences in the hobby. I find that most men hobby to fill the void of intimacy. Whether that is physical or mental, it does not matter.
Dear Coach Julie,
I must say that you are no better than the men who cheat on their wives. You write about " the hobby" like these men are out playing golf. This is cheating and it is wrong. You should not promote it like an acceptable form of recreation.
Thank you for the comments. I am sure everyone has their opinion of swinging and escorts. To those of us in the swinging lifestyle, we see nothing wrong with recreational sex. Swinging is how we like to spend our free time. As long as what we do is safe, that is our choice. As for men seeing escorts, I think men need a satisfactory level of intimacy in their lives. This level varies from male to male. If they do not receive this intimacy at home, they will find it somewhere. Most men tell me seeing an escort is much better than starting an affair.
I am a white male mid 30's and I have been taking pictures and videos of my girlfriend and her black male lover, for a few months now. Something happened recently and I am not sure how to handle the situation.
One day when my girlfriend wasn't home her male lover stopped by, we had a few drinks, and I found myself enjoying his beautiful member. I really did enjoy it and I have pleased him to completion several times now.
She doesn't know about it yet, I don't think, but I am thinking that I would like to join them together. Naturally, I am worried that if she finds out that I do enjoy it as much as I do, she will run like hell.
What to do?
Honesty is the best policy. Next time she is really in the mood, mention to her that you would like to enjoy a threesome with her and her friend. If she is receptive, mention that you would like to enjoy the pleasures as much as she does. If she is receptive, great, enjoy your time together. If she is not, then I would suggest you find the time to discuss this with her. My guess is that if you enjoyed pleasuring her friend, you will want to try this again in the future.
What is the best way to try swinging. We are a married couple in our 40's.
John and Sandy
Dear John and Sandy,
If you live in a city near a swing club, read the club's web site carefully, then visit the club. Do not expect any interaction the first time. Spend some time getting to know the members, watching how other couples interact and most important, seeing how it feels to both of you as a couple.
If you do not live near a swing club, consider visiting one on your next vacation or business trip. Many large cities like Las Vegas have swing clubs, so you can mix vacation, gambling and swinging.
Good luck and always respect your spouses feelings.
If you have a question for Julie, please e mail me at Julie@JulieWild.com. If you would like to find out more on Julie's Phone sex Coaching, please visit JulieWild.com or call me at 404-806-7386 for more information.