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March 03, 2005 12:59am
Spice Clips with Stephanie Swift
Source: Courtesy of Tod-Hunter.net
by: Tod Hunter

Tod Hunter's Random Notes from a Red Notebook: Spice Clips with Stephanie Swift.

Dark Sunday night down the mean streets by Dodger Stadium. There's a 24-hour Le Sex Shoppe blinking its tawdry welcome into the night. The Kmart. my landmark on where to turn, is shuttered and dark, its customers probably forced to head to Wal-Mart tomorrow morning. The quiet and desolation is even more pronounced compared to the Oscars® I was watching earlier this evening. But now, the Governors Ball is in full swing, the Vanity Fair invaders are having their wingding at Morton's, and I'm on my way to the Andrita Studios to watch Stephanie Swift host Spice Clips.

In the studio foyer, Bud Lee comes out to meet me. We catch up for a moment, and then I head into Stephanie Swift's dressing room. In a high director's chair, she is being made up. It's her first hosting gig, she tells me, although she has been on the show before. It's live, which means it's going to start at 1:30 AM on the east coast. "I introduce clips of people having sex. One of my favorite things to do is sit there and say 'I've been with her, I've been with him, I haven't been with her, I haven't been with him'... We take phone calls. People talk to you the whole time. We have a screener. Everybody's different. I try to push toward girls, 'Girls, call in,' because I get more excited by the girls when they call in. That's one thing I like about this show": You can talk about anything you want. There's callers on the air and you can guide them to do anything you want them to do. That's the beauty of it: Live TV phone sex."

She's been featuring and doing store signings lately. "Radio shows. You know, taking a break from the contract life. I decided not to re-sign for the eighth year in a row because I want to do something different. I want to focus on building my empire. Plus there are so many other amazing contract girls under contract elsewhere that I wouldn't get to do movies with if I stayed.

"So for the love of pussy, I quit," she concludes with a chuckle.

She's staying home for a while ("I don't want to see a plane again for at least a month."), rebuilding her website ("It should be ready by the end of March."), and trying to "stop my house from going down the hill." She enjoys PSK every week. "I love karaoke. I've been doing karaoke for years. Every time I would mention it, people would snicker. Now it's cool." (She does a mean Borderline.)

She also is breeding miniature Doberman Pinschers. "You'll die when you see this one. He looks like Jerry the Mouse." I allow that "cute" and "Doberman" are usually not put together, and I believe this until I see the dog cradled in Cherry Lane's hands. She puts him down on the floor and he walks, hesitantly, aimlessly, until Stephanie calls him. I try to get him to pose next to my shoe but he won't stand still. On a backstage TV we watch the Oscar® aftermath. (Stephanie observes that Natalie Portman looks like Cytherea.) Stephanie steps outside the room, and then walks back in, unselfconsciously naked except for her athletic shoes. She pulls on a tiny pair of panties and a camisole top, both red with blue trim, and says "Ready."

We walk through a couple of white doors, and enter a studio control room. Through the window, Evan Stone is finishing a scene with August on a couch. As he exits, the cameras swing around to the other side of the studio and aim at a round purple bed, with red panels behind it. In the control room, a female screener talks to callers, sizing them up, as Stephanie goes to the studio and gets into position.

Staring the show, Stephanie says that she's been tempted by the house girls at her feature gigs lately. "I mean, I have to put on my make-up!" A caller gets on the air, starts talking. "He's not talking to her," Bud observes. The screener picks up the phone. "Talk louder than this guy, okay?" she says to a caller. "This is a sex show, not a talk show," Bud says. In the studio, under the camera's eye, Stephanie is rubbing her crotch. "She's not gonna get her pants off so lose the guy, put up a clip."

Stephanie signs off, a clip of Chris Cannon and Renee LaRue flickers across the screen.

When the clip is done, a woman named "Mindy" is on the phone. She's got a guy with her, she drawls, and "I've got a handful of pussy right now," and voop Stephanie's pants come off. "I just turned 33 on February 7. I've been begging someone to have sex, or to have sex with me."

"What is this world coming to?" Bud asks, rhetorically.

Stephanie licks her fingers and starts to finger herself. "You're getting my pussy wet."

"Oh yeah." Mindy coos.

"You wanna suck his cock?"

"I'm gonna sit on it first." A moment of dead air.

"You're sitting on it now?"

A low groan.

"I'm here every Sunday," Stephanie says. "Call me back."

"Story of my life," Stephanie mock-complains. "I was just getting into that call..." She intros another clip. I look at the screener's blinking monitor. Eight calls, all guys.

I head into the studio, take a few quick no-flash pictures of Stephanie on the bed. She grins at me, but the one where she's talking to somebody came out better.

"Where does pussy juice go when it leaves?" she asks. "If you could just bottle it, it would be better than new-car smell."

When she gets back, she starts playing with a glass dildo. A guy with a drawl is on the phone, goading her. Behind her, there's a quad split of four vids on a large screen. She looks into the camera, just barely puts the head of the glass dildo inside her lips. "I wanna drink your cum," the guy on the phone says. "I wanna taste you. I wanna take two of my fingers and slide 'em in your hot wet pussy while I'm suckin' on your clit." Stephanie moans, working the dildo. "How do you like that?" he asks. "Do you like it some?"

She may be doing all the work here, but she's digging it. "Take that glass cock and pretend it's mine." Uptempo techno music plays hard, fast, low volume, as he purrs "Do you like it doggy style? I'm gonna put it in your pussy slowly.... It's so good. You are so tight. Your pussy looks so good. Spread it open for me." She does. "Yeah, that looks good. Are you getting wet?" Small, quiet moans. I'd say yes, she is.

"I'm gonna put your legs on my shoulders, and start fuckin' you deep. Oh yeah, it feels so good." She starts moaning as if he's there with her. "Oh yeah, you're so good," she moans. If she's faking, it's fooling me. "Come with me baby," he groans, and then gasps, and then a low inhale. "Lots of it," he says. As she lies back on the bed, they go to another clip.

"That took a long time," the producer says. "That's okay," Stephanie says, then lets fly with a high squeal that says it was more than okay. "If I smoked, I'd need a cigarette right now." The make-up girl comes in with a touch-up.

The clip on the screen shows Kiki Daire in an energetic mish, her breasts making figure-8s as the guy pounds into her. When we get back on-air, Stephanie points out her smaller bosom, saying "My breasts won't do that" with a little pout. "Is there anybody out there to talk to me?" A guy is calling from Pasadena. Pasadena. He could drive here in half an hour.

"I want to see you play with your pussy," he says. She spreads her labia, the exposed pink a bright contrast to her tanned thighs. "You look so good," he moans. "Put your fingers inside your pussy" \u2013 she does \u2013 "Oh Gawd. I'm gonna come," he hisses, and one loud groan and he does. "Y'see?" she says, cheery. "That's what I'm talking about." She snaps her fingers. "Snap snap snap and it's all over."

A guy calls from Michigan. It's a telephone gangbang in here. "I'd like to come all over those beautiful tits. Can you ride me?" he asks. "Sure," she replies. "Get on top of me," he whispers. "Yeah." "Ride me nice and slow," he says, exhaling right into the receiver. "Ohhh yeah!" he blasts into the receiver. "Thank you," she coos. "No," he ripostes. "Thank you."

Next caller is from Jersey. "Looks good," he says, gutturally. "I'd like to be eatin' that clit." She moans, totally intyo it. "Are you strokin'," she asks. "I'm strokin' it, baby. Aaugh. Oh yeah baby. I'm gonna come. Oh yeah, right now." A long low groan, "Oh yeah."

The music stops, the telephone cuts off. Silence. "Yay! Went out on his coming!" Stephanie exults. She looks down. "I'm making a mess today. That was fun!... I love my job."

As she gets dressed and gets ready to leave the studio, we decide we are definitely going to sing a duet at PSK. As soon as we figure out what.

Stephanie Swift hosts Spice Clips on the Spice Live cable service Sunday nights from 10:30 to midnight PST. Check your local cable listings for further details.

Are you TOUGH ENOUGH for Joanna Angel?

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