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Club Jessica Jaymes - Official Website

May 28, 2004 01:00am
Darklady's Post Masturbate-a-Thon Wrap-Up
Source: Masturbate-a-Thon
by: DarkLady

Had a lot of questions from people who weren't able to attend the 3rd Annual Portland Masturbate-a-Thon, so I thought I'd jot down a quick description of the event. Unless more cash donations come in or expenses are somehow incurred, I'll be donating $850 to the Woodhull Foundation, $850 to the Center for Sex and Culture, $400 to Pride NW and $300 to Friends of People w/AIDS. I've already delivered a large load of material goods to the latter organization.

Because AOL is bouncing my messages as spam due to one of my links (possibly a sponsor), I've not included a list of vendors, non-profits, or sponsors. Instead, I've encouraged people to visit the M-a-T website for more info. This will encourage people to click on affiliate links. I am adding this letter and further updates to the site in order to keep its content fresh.

If you'd like to be involved with future parties and events, please let me know.

-- Theresa/Darklady

Darklady's Post Masturbate-a-Thon Wrap-Up

As any of my Darklings can tell you, this year's Masturbate-a-Thon was a singular experience, not only for myself but for everyone involved.

I always stress before an event. I've joked that the more stress I feel, the better the event comes off. I don't know if that's correct or not, but it's an interesting premise. This time around I was both more and less stressed than usual. About a week and a half before the event, I become deeply depressed, concluding that I wasn't going to attract enough sponsors or guests and that the whole thing was going to be a disaster. Previous to that I'd been stressing about the number of sponsors and partners that I'd attracted. Then there was worry about the venue itself. The Oregon had never opened its doors to another group before and its owner was apprehensive about doing so this time. There were a million things that could go wrong and I'm very good at making a list and checking them twice. On the other hand, I experienced a tremendous amount of pragmatism. I realized that I'd been doing this party stuff for three years now and they'd all managed to be great, so odds were that this one would be fine, too. I just needed to let it run at its own pace. Easier said than done.

In addition to the impending Masturbate-a-Thon fundraiser, I was scheduled to spend four days in LA in order to meet with the president, sales and PR department of Topco Sales and to speak during Hustler Hollywood's Naughty Bits night. My friends asked me if I was crazy to travel so close to event time, but it's not like I had much of a choice given the scheduling situation.

For the record, Jonathyn Andrews, one of my co-conspirators, says I am not crazy. Rather, I'm "insane." a word he believes communicates something that's "daring and risky and stunt-ish." Crazy, he explains, is just being fucked up. Ah. Got it. Heh.

Insane or crazy, as soon as I arrived in LA, the RSVPs started pouring in.

I try not to be competitive, but I am. With myself, with strangers, with friends, with celebrities, with the dead. whomever. I'm not a cut-throat competitive sort and I try to keep it all in perspective, but I do compare myself to others on a regular basis (thanks mom and dad) and I want desperately to succeed at my ventures. Thus, I kept an eye on things in San Francisco to see how that city's Masturbate-a-Thon was going. I wanted to do as well or better. After all, Portland gets over-looked pretty regularly and I wanted to once again prove that we're a force to be reckoned with. (bwhahahaha!)

I'm always looking for new and interesting places for us to party. The Oregon was proposed to me by some of its employees with the caveat that its owner was a bit eccentric and had never allowed outsiders to use the place. By some miracle, he agreed to let me host the M-a-T and agreed to a rental price I could afford. The space presented some definite challenges, but also offered some interesting opportunities. Let's face it, the chance to casually say, "Yeah, last year we hosted the Masturbate-a-Thon in a decommissioned church and this year we're doing it in a porno theatre," was enticement beyond measure. Although the place is far from glamorous, there's a gritty sexual reality about it that made it irresistible.

The lobby became not only the way to gain entrance to the establishment but also a place to browse three vendors, pick up some sex positive literature, and nosh at the potluck table or on sweets and sodas from the theatre's snack bar. People socialized in this area, as well. It definitely had the best lighting in the place. The first fifty guests received gift bags from Adam & Eve that included lube, condoms, a catalogue, a sticker, and a string of anal beads. Wee! Other guests received complimentary DVDs from Pleasure Productions and Bizarre Video. All guests received free passes to the Oregon Theatre and all guests whose email addresses I have will receive free memberships to Solonation.com, a gorgeous community focused website that pays special attention to the art of self-love.

Inside the auditorium was a brilliantly (IMO) constructed cloakroom at the very back. Darkling Frost is to thank for putting that together. You can't imagine how we fretted over how to construct a cloakroom for this venue! Another vendor had a space in one of the back corners and the Intimate Associates folks had set up an area for game play closer to the front, right by the S&M play space. The S&M play space was more developed than it's ever been this time, since Darkling JJ built a beautiful bondage frame, Mr. Peeps donated an amazing sex Swing and free standing frame, and one of the guests brought a very nice bondage cross.

We watched classic porn on the big screen: Vintage Erotica from the 1950s, Autobiography of a Flea, Behind the Green Door, Deep Throat, and Debbie does Dallas.

The ThrillHammer was placed in front of the auditorium, between the seats and the stage. We played all kinds of super fun party games next to it. I was delighted to see that some of the Oregon Theatre's regulars either joined in or watched. This was a mind blowing experience for many of them, since the theatre doesn't normally pack in 220 people in various stages of undress who casually interact with one another whether or not they're in the middle of some sexual act. I'd never played Spin the Bottle before, so it was fun to get the opportunity to do so finally - and have so many comely kissing options. Truth or Dare was fun, too, but I had to do a perimeter check and left early. The Twister game with living Twister board additions looked like it was going well. I didn't get to see if there was a Naked Twister game because I was focused on something else. My feet being rubbed, I think. Nobody remembered to bring pillows, so there was no Naked Pillow Fight. That might work better in a smaller party setting. I might want to revisit this whole slumber party thing in the future. Venues?

There were some super cool raffle and door prizes to give away. I especially enjoyed handing out the penis shaped hard candy suckers I got from Topco. Those were popular with the ladies and the more broad-minded fellers. I handed out a lot of lovely toys, some books including the Big Book of Masturbation from Down There press, some toys for boys and toys for girls, Buttman Magazines, and t-shirts from Hung Brand and Pleasure Productions. Fun! There were two huge baskets of goodies from XTC Leather of NY, three gorgeous Pyrex dildos from Crystal Climax, a basket full o' beauty from that amazing Mars Meadows, toys from Filthy Cabbage, Cathie's, and TW Unlimited, an original piece of white on white art, an hypnosis session, an acupuncture treatment, free memberships to ChickShack.com and HomeGrownVideo.com, books from Stan Kent, and a bawdy framed Vargas from the pages of the March 1968 issue of Playboy Magazine. Raven from Adult Toy Chest handed out vibrating eggs and batteries to the ladies.

Since the electrical outlet situation was sub-optimal, we weren't able to have a DJ or run music through a PA while the ThrillHammer and the Casting Couch were in action. At midnight we shut down the Casting Couch and Full Brazil began to play. I think I speak for everyone who heard this duo when I say that I'd love to have them back again and for longer. They're interested in becoming the Darklady "house band" and I think that's dandy. They play the perfect music to relax, be sensual and sexual by. Not a bad soundtrack at all. And they're available for other gigs, in case anyone's hiring.

And through it all, people mingled and laughed, had conversations, made purchases, kissed, hugged, rubbed feet, spanked bottoms, stroked one another's genitals, stroked their own genitals, nibbled and sucked on one another's genitals, and made tentative plans to meet later for more of same. After midnight (and my intercourse restrictions were removed) I believe there may have even been some good ole fashioned fucking.

And all for charity, mind you. All for charity.

Two days after the event, a box of vibrating duckies from I Rub My Duckie arrived. Too late for the Masturbate-a-Thon, but ready for future parties and opportunities for duckie rubbing. Naturally, there are not only yellow but also black duckies. If ducks aren't your thing, the company also produces a line of vibrating fishies and it looks like there's a naughty duck with a red devil cape coming soon to a delicate surface near you.

Yesterday Jonathyn and I drove out a load of food, clothing, pet supplies, and hygiene products to Friends of People with Aids/Tod's Corner. I've still got a bag of goodies to take to WIAR (Women's Intercommunity Aids Resource). Checks will go out once I get my corporate checks in the mail. Donation amounts will be determined once late contributions have been received and all event-related costs paid.

Today Jonathyn and I visited 105.1 the Buzz FM to present American Idol's tone deaf but enthusiastic William Hung with a Hung Brand t-shirt. DJs Dr. Doug and Skippy received sampler DVDs from Pleasure Productions and sexy DJ Daria received a black I Rub My Duckie vibrator. A good time was had by all. Probably a longer lasting good time for Daria than the rest of us, but that's part of the mission. :)

Please visit the Masturbate-a-Thon website and the sponsors, donors, vendors, and non-profits who helped make this year's event so great. Any purchases made from my Adult Toy Chest links during the next two months will generate additional income for our charities, as both ATC and Darklady will donate 5% of sales.

Next major party will be Darklady's summer birthday party, hopefully at an outdoor venue. I'm entertaining the notion of some smaller gatherings, including a BBW Appreciation Night and maybe some sexy board game nights.

-- Darklady
Darklady.com
Groups.Yahoo.com/group/Dark-Lady
LiveJournal.com/~darklady_produc
Masturbate-a-Thon.org

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