March 09, 2002 03:37pm
From the Trenches - The Swinging Lifestyle
Source: Courtesy of Dave Cummings
by: Dave Cummings
I recently joined a free Swinging lifestyle web site (the one in "Dave’s Links" at my Website [link below]. I signed up for their free membership, which provides a lot of great services. They also have a cheap but elaborate pay membership option available. Some might ask, "Why would a porn star want or need to be involved with swingers"; in my case, it’s because I find swinging fascinating and exciting. Yes, I get plenty of "action" at porn shoots, and from the "Groupie Girls" I wrote about last month at the "Read Dave’s Column" link on my web site; but, swingers seem like such happy folks, and I enjoy being happy and associating with happy people!
Porn talent members are a cross-section of society. Society is composed of different people, some of who participate in the swinging lifestyle. A number of porn couples are swingers---and, no, just like swingers never give out each other’s phone numbers without first getting specific permission to do so, I will not betray their privacy by revealing which girls/couples practice swinging! Suffice to say that there are many. Porn stars have sex in front of the cameras, yet they later make love to their significant other; non-porn star swingers have sex with others at swinger parties and gatherings, but make love to each other. As you’ve heard me say so often, I believe that sex between consenting adults is a natural, normal, and healthy gift from God.
Swingers seem much more open about their sex lives, and I’ve noticed that their relationships and marriages seem stronger and happier. I think swingers, most of whom practice safe sex when swinging, are rapidly growing in numbers and openness. I also think that there are many, many, many non-swingers who are curious about swinging, and fantasize about it; even though some of these individuals will not speak up or act upon their curiosities, they want to experience swinging but are afraid to admit it---it’s somewhat akin to the millions who possess and watch porn videos, but keep it private because they fear the social stigma that might result if they openly admitted that they enjoy porn entertainment; if God conducted a planet-wide lie detector test, I think the results would show that well over 90% of us own or watch porn, even though most people are too shy to admit it to others!
Likewise, I think many folks fantasize about swinging but they won’t own up to it, sometimes not even to/within themselves, let alone to their lover, or others. My entry into porn acting was somewhat facilitated by the swinging world. A year or two after my ex-wife ran off with a guy and ended our 22-year marriage, I purchased a swingers newspaper and responded to ads from couples looking for a guy to help pleasure the female. Because I was a totally non-pushy gentleman, I was subsequently invited to crowded swing parties. Eventually, I was a very active "single male attendee" who met with women and couples both at parties and at their/my home.
Through swinging, I ended up as a guy holding a light on an amateur porn shoot; the guy couldn’t do the money shot, so I was asked to do a "stunt" cum shot; the next day, I was the male talent with a beautiful amateur actress; eventually, after other shoots, the word got out about me and I got a shot in a real porn video being filmed by VCA in the Los Angeles area. I owe much of my present "career" and good fortune to swinging! Though I don’t formally swing much anymore, I still meet with quite a few women and couples from the past---thank goodness I can buy condoms cheaply at the nearby military bases! I sometimes go to swinger parties, but not as often as I plan to if/when I ever leave porn acting!
Some of the nicest people I know are in the porn world; and, in the swinging lifestyle. Because I host Wildlife’s "Screw My Wife, Please" and their "Screw My Husband, Please" series, I get a lot of email and letters from couples who are either swingers, or who want to ask me questions about swinging. I’ve actually met some of these folks subsequently on Wildlife sets as they act out their fantasies in Director Bobby Rinaldi’s acclaimed series.
Society at large has many swingers, and multitudes more that are curious about swinging. Who knows, your next-door neighbors or the couple sitting next to you on an airplane or in church might have bridged the gap from being merely curious to actually being swingers!
Dave Cummings
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