November 01, 2013 03:01pm
Our Attitude Along the Way
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Rich Moreland
My recent visit with Evil Angel's Christian Mann was a long time coming but worth the wait.
Christian is recovering from a life threatening cancer scare. His condition is manageable, he says, and the future looks bright.
As is often the case with cancer survivors, the event has been transformative for Christian. He now looks beyond himself with an emotional strength on steroids.
"It [the cancer] showed me what I'm made of," Christian says. When the expected fear of death came to circle over him, a reformulation of attitudes quickly took shape. New ways "To be purposeful" in the daily experiences that have redefined his life led him to a realization.
"Fear is always future-based," Christian says. The lesson is simple but rarely easy to grasp. When allowed to take up residence in the psyche, the powerful "here and now" will throw off worry with a vengeance, crushing the demon called fear.
"It wasn't time to check out yet," Christian says. But he's okay with our inevitability as living organisms. Call it peace, serenity, or what you will, but the "daily fear of death," he announces with a broad smile, is not on his radar. In fact, Christian is grateful for everything that has happened. It's given him a relaxed new outlook filled with a humor that accentuates what he calls his "bonus round."
Christian deals with the discomfort of treatment, of course, but his renewed appreciation for those close to him—his wife, Melissa, and his new grandson, Londen Carter Mann— is his sustenance. What may stress the body strengthens the soul, engendering a re-energized appreciation of family and friends.
Every day is fun. "Here I am sitting down talking to you guys," Christian beams. Comfortable in his office at Ea, my photographer Bill and I nod, reminded of how lucky we are to know him.
Evil Angel's receptionist interrupts to tell Christian that Bonnie Rotten has just arrived. The company's general manager, who can't stop smiling, still has a job that needs his expertise. With a farewell we head out to our next stop, a little wiser about time and how imperative it is to enjoy our allotted days because sadly, there is an immediate reminder of what haunts all of us.
One of the industry's true artistic visionaries, Carlos Batts, died recently. At age forty, Carlos passed away far too young and with a suddenness that stunned everyone in the industry. His legacy is one of energy, creativity, and as Bobbi Starr told me, kindness. Carlos did what he loved.
I met Carlos and his wife, April Flores, in Toronto at the Feminist Porn Awards a few years ago. I was fortunate to interview them last fall never imagining that I would not see the filmmaker and his muse as one again.
Carlos Batts was a movie maker in the truest sense. He never cut corners, he mentioned in our interview. Doing more than a couple of films a year was out of the question; the work required to produce quality requires thought and careful planning. Carlos was also a print artist and a technical specialist and, like Christian Mann, resided in an intellectual penthouse where few in the industry can honestly venture.
So as I celebrate with one friend and remember another, I'm reminded that time grooms us to complete our journey, but never sets our attitude along the way.
[Photography by Bill Knight]