October 07, 2012 10:50am
To Say Or Not?
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Rebecca Bardoux
From Where I Stand: To Say or not to Say? That is the Question! by Rebecca Bardoux
There is not a day that goes by I donít read a tweet on Twitter or posting on Facebook that somebody is saying somebody did them wrong. They talk about what a terrible person that person is.
So, why is it the scorned person never mentions the bad personís name. (If someone you know beat you up or stole from you, wouldn't you tell the police their name.) Yet in this instant they tell everyone what a bad person he or she is. They beat you, took money from you or used you. Others say this person ripped them off business wise, and no one should deal with them. Not saying their name.
Well, if they are that bad how am I going to protect myself from them if I donít know who they are? First off maybe I know this person and will go to them directly and find out whatís going on. If I donít know them and meet them I will be much more caution now. I now have information about their character, whether itís true or not. Not to say I will not do business with them, but I will proceed with caution.
I think it was a few years back; there was a website that went up where woman could name men that had done them wrong. If the man was married or he financially took advantage of them. I guess that site is just a list of all the sociopaths woman come across. It didn't work because some women have their own issues. They were racking a guy over the coals that had done nothing to them. They just ended the relationship.
In an industry like adult, there are people that are here for themselves. Letís face it we are a taboo industry and attract the dark light. I think in some cases itís the last place a lot of people can go. They have burned every bridge everywhere else in their lives. As Amber Lynn said, "We are all just a box of broken toys"
The adult industry does not do a background check on you before you can be hired to work in it. There are people with a shady past that come in this business. Some of them succeed, maybe because they have finally found the place they belong. I myself struggled with jobs and life in general before getting into this industry. When I started working in adult entertainment I realized this is what I was meant to do. I donít have a shady past. The worst thing I ever did in my eyes was steal marijuana from my ex-boyfriendís house for my new boyfriend. Before I got in to porn.
How do we deal with this? Bad personal relationships happen; somebody is bound to get hurt when another person doesn't want them around anymore. So, unless this person stole money from you, beat you badly or stole your identity, crack it up to love gone bad.
What about the business end of it? I run my own business, the business of me. I deal with a lot of different people coming to me with deals and I also go to other people. I want to believe when it comes to business everyone will be upfront and honest. As we all know that is not the case.
To drag my ego into this for a minute, it amazes me that people in this industry would try to rip me off. I have 20 years in this business and know just about everyone that is anyone in this business. You can say I am part of the foundation of this industry, along with many other people that worked hard for many years to build this industry.
If I was a newbie coming in I would be smart enough not to screw over a veteran. If anything I would grab on to them and never let go. I know a few people that are very successful in this industry because they did just that. Now they are one of the people the newbies grab onto. See how that works!
I think you are getting my point. When is it Ok to out someone that did you wrong? Someone that affected your money, your life. Taking the high road canít always be the way. You keep carrying that injustice that was done to you, it has to affect you on some level.
Isn't it just better to put it out there in the public and let the other person stand up for themselves? Hey, if someone was saying stuff about me I would much rather have the opportunity to stand up for myself, then have people not sure of what to think of me.
You canít come out and bash the person, but you can tell your side of the story, and hope that person comes out and tells theirs. They may just change their ways, knowing that if they continue to do this people are going to say something.
So, when you tell your side of the story what does that make you? Will people say good for you, standing up for yourself or that you are bitter and who cares. I guess itís the way you do it that will determine how people feel about you? I guess thereís only one way to find out, just do it