September 09, 2012 03:21pm
From Where I Stand: Bad Combination
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Rebecca Bardoux
From Where I Stand: Social Media & Ego - A Bad Combination, by Rebecca Bardoux
The best way to have a conversation is face to face, the second best is on the phone. There is no way to really have a quality communication on a social network. It is just too convoluted. Even texting is difficult unless it is with someone you trust and know. Some things just come off wrong. At least if itís a friend you know nothing bad was meant, even if it reads that way.
When I was younger I hated talking on the phone. I was not good at negotiation because of my low self esteem. When you have a face to face conversation with someone you have to be honest and on your toes. Texting is no way to book talent for a shoot.
It seems to me since this whole social networking thing started we have gotten angrier. That anger just may come out of not being able to fully express yourself in 160 words or less. Plus, if you say something that makes the other person feel bad, a hug is much better than texting the words "I am sorry."
Social network and texts are a great way to hide you true feelings. Itís easier to type mean things to people, then tell them face to face. I bet many good friendships end with texting. Later they both donít understand what really happened. Mending a broken friendship is hard. Donít try to do it by texting, thatís how it ended.
I am just as guilty doing this as everyone else. I am a Leo and can be quite stubborn at times. I am thinking if 85% of your friendship is based on texting, itís not a good one. Human beings need physical interaction to have a healthy happy life. Sex, is a great explain. Nothing brings me more joy then seeing a friend in person for coffee or something. We both put fourth extra effect to get dressed, brush our teeth and get to the location we are meeting. It really doesnít take much effect to roll over in bed and reach for your phone and text.
There is a reason for being face to face in a court hearing. The judge and jury get to see the actions of each party, not just their words. To understand a personís character you have to see how they present themselves in person, as well as their words to make a fair judgment. Sometimes people are found guilty not for their words but for their actions.
Judges, attorneys and police officers are all a great judge of character. They deal with people face to face all day. The more years of experience you have dealing with people the better you are. As much as humans are all different, we are still all the same, and that is why years spent is most important.
My former dance agent and I would always laugh about that. We would always say "same people just different faces", all the people I have spent years in the industry with for that matter. We just pretty much know the ending to most of the stories before they begin, not too sure of the middle of the story, but the ending is pretty much the same based on the way it starts.
Most veterans in the industry know the signs of success and failure based on watching and listening to the newbie interact, after just a month or two. There are certain steps to take in this industry, if you take them you succeed if you donít you fail. That is it, cut and dry. Success is not based on the amount of money you make. Itís based on how other people feel about you. I guess itís like the mafia; you have to prove yourself before you get accepted and respected.
I would suggest you have consistency in everything you do and say. If you are going to put it out there you better do it. Press releases and twitter talk does not get a project completed, hard honest work does. I have had my projects I came out with, talked about, then because of investors or partners, or my lack of dedication it never happened. Now, I try to handle my ego and hold off on any press releases or announcements till itís done. With twitter, Facebook, and social media our egos can run amuck. Itís like the boy who cried wolf, after a while no one cares. Integrity will get you much further then you ego, and you wonít crash and burn. Instead you will bask in the glory.