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August 15, 2012 04:36pm
MWA: 8th Anniversary Column
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Myles Shaffer

Myles' Weekend Adventures: 8th Anniversary Column Including Glory Stories and Ryan Keely - Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. Since this will more-than-likely be the last column I have published before August 26, I would like to remind everybody about the Exotic Dancer Gentlemen's Club Owners Expo 20 Year Reunion that is coming up August 26 through August 29.

Anybody who is able to should be certain to attend this year's festivities. Exotic Dancer has promised that this Expo will be the best one ever! I can hardly wait myself!

And while we are remembering things, let's not forget about the Miss Nude 2012 Contest that will be held at Wild J's Gentlemen's Club, in Canute, Oklahoma, September 27, 28, and 29. In addition to quite a few beautiful women who will be competing in the contest, Tony Batman will be bringing the Screaming 'O' Show to the event.

While Canute is a very small town located in Southwestern Oklahoma, one never knows whom they may see there during that weekend.

Okay, let us now move on to tales of great laughter and a beautiful woman.

Glory Stories

Friday night, August 10, I went to Hollywood to attend, "Glory Stories," at the iO West Improv Theater.

This time around, "Date Night," starring Joe Bill, Dave Razowsky, and Alison Royer, opened for, "Glory Stories."

The performances of these three comedians were some of the funniest I've ever seen. Alison, Dave and Joe had the audience in stitches pretty much from their introductions to their final bows!

After, "Date Night," had finished, it was time for, "Glory Stories," of course.

During this performance of, "Glory Stories," the cast consisted of: Brandon Barrick, Neil Garguilo, Zach Huddleston, Aaron Krebs, Tiffani Ann Mills, Patrick Ian Moore, Dave Park, Neil Ruddy, and Canon Wing.

On this night, the audience was blessed with not one but two extremely sexy guest storytellers. I'm speaking of two of my dearest friends, Kiki Daire and Nicki Hunter!

As always, "Glory Stories," provided the audience with tons of great laughs, and Kiki and Nicki both did great jobs as the guest storytellers!

Ryan Keely

Saturday, August 11, even though I overslept one hour, I gave into the temptation, hurried up, and hit the road to Phoenix to meet Ryan Keely and see her perform at the Hi-Liter. What a fiasco! I should have stayed home and saved my time and money! In fact, the way things worked out, I only hung around long enough to meet Ryan and to observe her 5PM show.

For the one show that I saw, Ryan performed a prisoner themed show with a very appropriate costume and music, and that is all I can say.

Ryan's customer interaction was limited to making certain that anybody who tipped got a good, close, look at her body and a beautiful body it is!

Ryan is a lovely woman who has rather long blonde hair and brown eyes. She is five feet nine inches tall, weighs one hundred thirty-five pounds, and her measurements are 36D-26-38.

Ms. Keely can be found at RyanKeely.com

After the show, I had a short conversation with Ryan during her signing.

When I was asking Ryan about the music she performed to, she commented that she didn't want me to write about her costume or what her music was. She was concerned that somebody might steal her show. (It is just like what my editor-in-chief and I agreed upon, if anybody wanted to steal one of her shows that badly, all they would have to do would be to go to a club and watch her perform. Such things have happened in the past, and I'm certain they will happen again in the future.)

The next thing I knew, Ryan told me that anybody who wanted to interview her needed to go through her publicist Brain Gross. I told her that I've never done an interview in my life, nor that I was inclined to want to do so. I told her that I was merely attempting to get a little bit of information I needed to write about her and her performances so well as I could.

Ryan then said something about she, or I, or whatever, contacting Brian and possibly getting a couple of press releases sent to me. Now why the hell would I want to do that?

Now don't anybody get me wrong. I'm not knocking Brian. In fact, he is an excellent publicist. There have been many times that, after reading one of his press releases, I have found myself wishing that I could spin words so eloquently as he. Still, that doesn't mean that I want to turn my column over to him. My column is my creation, my baby, and nobody else's! Yes, it has evolved over time because of suggestions that I have received from friends and my editor-in-chief that I found to be worthy of serious consideration, but it is still originally my creation!

At one point in our brief conversation, something Ryan said caused me to say my traditional wisecrack about being too old to go to prison and become Big Bubba's bitch. With a deathly serious look on her face, she looked at me and asked, "What makes you think he would want you?" I laughed it off and made a comment about how I was old enough that nobody wanted me. (In defense of Ryan, it could have been that I was guilty of not realizing that she was making a cynical joke. After all, I do that a lot myself.)

Thinking back on this situation, I do not believe that Ryan Keely was overly impressed with me. Oh well, too bad. I was not placed on this planet to please every living creature!

Now I could have done one of two things. I could have gone ahead and written about anything and everything, or I could have been a nice guy and honored her wishes. I do try to be a nice person as a general rule, and that is why I didn't write too much about Ryan's one show that I saw. I do apologize for that portion of this column not being up to par. Just remember, it wasn't my idea.

Finally, in the interest of the trip not being a complete bust, I gave Ryan a twenty dollar bill and prepared to have a photo taken with her.

Wouldn't you just know it? Ryan's camera refused to work. So after discussing it with Ryan and getting her approval, I went up front to clear it with the club to bring in my own camera just long enough to get my photo with Ryan.

When I told an employee at the door what I wanted to do, he told me that, even though it had been allowed in the past, that no cameras were allowed including mine even if I was press.

I asked to speak with the on duty manager who walked up to us just as I was asking about him.

As the three of us were speaking, and I was getting nowhere, the evening manager came through the front door and butted into the conversation.

The incoming manager said, "I told you the last time you were here that no cameras were allowed."

I know fully well that my memory isn't what it was thirty years ago, but I do believe the dude was either having a serious problem with imagining things, or was telling a bald-faced lie! That was the first time I've ever been told at any club that I couldn't bring in my camera to have a photo taken with a feature, so I think if it had ever happened before, I would remember it. (In the interest of fairness, Ryan did give me my twenty dollars back. She also gave me an autographed 8X10 of herself for free, so at least I did get something out of the fiasco.)

After thinking about it for a while, I'm about ninety-seven percent convinced that he is the same jerk of a manager that so greatly irritated me in April of last year, that I said goodbye to Dakota Skye after her first show of the evening and headed on down the road to Texas. At least that time I had a couple of things to do and people to see farther down the line. This time, all I could do was to turn around and go back home.

When I went back to tell Ryan that I wasn't going to be allowed to bring my camera in, and that I thought I would chalk it up to experience and go get something to eat, she suggested that I come back for her 9PM show. She said that she would try to get her camera working so we could still take the photo I wanted. I said that I would consider it.

I then left the club and went to a Golden Corral Buffet & Grill about eight miles west/northwest from the club.

After I had finished eating, and thinking about the way things had been working out the entire time I was in town, I called my editor-in-chief. When he answered, I proceeded to tell him where I was and what was happening. I then asked him what he thought he would do if he were in my shoes. He indicated that if it were he, he believed that he would call it a loss and go home. What he said seconded what I was already thinking, so I went to my car and started the long drive home.

Now if anybody simply wanted to see Ryan Keely perform and to meet her in person, by-all-means, they should get out to a club and do so at their earliest opportunity. However, I seriously doubt that I will ever do so again based on my own personal experience.

Ryan is a good performer on stage, and anybody who is just there as a fan and customer will like what they see.

As for the Hi-Liter, if the management is going to do everything they can to make my job difficult and make me feel unwelcome after all the free publicity the club has received in my columns, I may not return in the future, especially if the feature performer is somebody I've never met before.

Okay folks, that will just about do it for this time around. Let's all meet back here the next time and continue the discussion of hot, talented, women. Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

Bonsoir et au revoir,
Myles Shaffer

[Hi, Steve Nelson here. I, for one, am glad to see Myles giving good information about feature dancers and clubs. I often use the info in his columns to know what dancers and clubs to refer people to. In this case I will NOT refer people to Hi-Liter or Ryan Keely. Anyone who treats my columnists with disrespect, or a silly girl who wants my people to go through their publicist to write about their shows, aren't worth recommending.]

Are you TOUGH ENOUGH for Joanna Angel?

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