July 15, 2012 02:48pm
From Where I Stand: I'm Obligated
Source: Adult Industry News
by: Company Press Release
From Where I Stand by Rebecca Bardoux - I'm Obligated
I was having a tough time deciding what to talk about in my column. Then I checked my Facebook and knew exactly what to write about.
This morning when I check my messages on Facebook there was an email from a young girl I met in the adult business about 18 months ago. When we met on set there was an instant connection. We stayed in touch for a while, and then I no longer heard from her. A few months ago I heard a few things about her, and it saddened my heart. I was so happy to hear from her today and can’t wait for her response back.
When I first got in the industry Sean Michaels guided me through, he taught me the ins and outs. He picked me up when I was feeling down, and taught me how to talk dirty during a scene. He even told me how to take care of a yeast infection I got from keeping a sponge inside me for too long. The box said 12 hours, what did I know. He was my mentor, without him I know I would not have the great career I have today, or the reputation.
When I made my comeback in 2010, I met a lot of new young girls. I tried to make them feel welcomed and respected. It’s a very tough business and there are no classes in high school to get you ready for it. I gave them positive support and needed information about the reality of it all.
Throughout my career there were a lot of times I needed someone to talk to. It was difficult to go talk to a therapist in the civilian world and tell them I was in the porn industry. First off, they had no idea what it’s about. They couldn’t even imagine. Second they may have judged and tried to get me to leave the industry, when that was the last thing I wanted to do.
So, I lived a few years of my adult career in confusion. I had no one to talk to and was forced to deal with these issues on my own. I was making decisions based on no knowledge of the business, just my instinct. I was also listening to people that did not always have my best interested in mind.
I have become that person that I needed when I was struggling. I did not plan it, it just happened. I am not here to tell these girls that porn is bad and get out of it. I try to be an example for them and an inspiration when they look at me I hope they see a confidence, happy woman that is proud of her career. I have a lot of respect for the fans and the industry for giving it to me.
I am not washed up or used up. I take excellent care of myself inside and out. I am not bitter or revengeful. I try to present myself in a classy, loving way. I hope they see that. With this comes great self-respect and in turn people respect and admire you. This is something that takes time; if it’s not real it won’t happen. This is the way to becoming a solid part of the adult industry, instead of a flash in the pan. They already have these qualities in them. They just need guidance to bring them out and shape them. They need to believe in themselves.
I get calls and texts in the middle of the night, and I take the time to talk to them. I talk to them with respect and genuine concern for their well-being. I met a few who choose to believe other people, telling them things that are misleading. I understand there are a few people that don’t like to see anyone succeed but themselves. However, I will always be there for them, and give them a loving smile when I see them.
A mentorship program is needed in this industry. I guess you could say it’s like having a sponsor in a recovery program. They listen, they guide and they don’t judge. No matter how many times you screw up they are there for you.
Since I started doing this, I have met several woman from across the country, (love Facebook) that feel this type of program is needed in the sex industry. We have since started working on a plan to form a professional program. This will take a lot of time and a few donations. For now we are here for anyone needing some guidance as they move through this sometimes confusing career as a sex worker.
This is not a "Pink Cross" situation. We are not here to bash anyone. We are here for the girls. I would like to make this career choice a little easier for the girls coming up and maybe they won’t have as many struggles as I had. At least they will have someone to talk to. With that said my email box is always open, it’s the least I can do for an industry that has given me so much love and support over the years.
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