March 12, 2001 03:34pm
ROCCO! SCHMOCKO! EXTREME SUPERSTUD LUCIANO DROPS A LOAD ON THE EASTERN BLOCK!
Source: Company Press Release
by: Company Press Release
(VAN NUYS, CA) -- Growing up you were fascinated by the exotic adventures of Marco Polo, Christopher Columbus, Lewis & Clark, and Neil Armstrong. Yes, bold, fearless pioneers intent on forging new nations and charting new horizons for the sole benefit of man and mankind. Yes, these selfless heroic souls gave us spineless cowards hope and courage. They made us think. They made us wonder. They made us dream.
Well, loooook….out…. America! Extreme Associates is about to bestow upon the world a brave new swashbuckler, intent on turning the vaginal and anal wilderness of backwards Europe into a raging backwoods San Fernando Valley. Yes, you know his name well.
Luciano.
The Italian-American stud known for his five star video series: Luciano's Lucky Ladies,
Face Down Ass Up, and Anal Asspirations.
Luciano.
The raging sexual madman who turns the buttocks of gorgeous females into regurgitated salami.
Luciano.
The man, the myth, the legend.
And he is about to launch a penile blitzkrieg on the land of babushkas and bad vodka.
"Goddamn Commie-sluts!" the Guido with the overactive libido proclaims. "They don't know what it's like to be stuffed with eight inches of hardcore Grade A good ol' U.S. of A. beef."
Teamed with his remedial sidekick, the "bizarre" Mark Wood, Looch has promised to plant a load on every drop-dead gorgeous big-assed Euro that dares to cross his path. And this furious anal assault begins March 14, 2001.
"Fuggedaboutdit" Looch boasts. "The French have B.O. The Slavs, they have the brains of Rigotta Cheese. The fucking Krauts, well…they smell like kielbasi. We're going to be waxing all of the Czech bitches. We'll be kings!"
The horny Sicilian plans on shooting at least three videos during his month-long stay in Prague, including a Face Down Ass Up and a Lucky Ladies. Extreme will also release a fully interactive XXX Luch travelogue on DVD. The trip will be documented daily on the Extreme Associates website (www.extremeassociates.com) and be covered by at least ten adult periodicals. There will also be a contest where fans can win a chance to appear in an upcoming Extreme Associates movie by guessing at which historical Czech landmark the mighty Looch will drop his "Last Load."
Euro-American relations will never be the same again.
Check out Looch's flight to Prague at http://www.extremeassociates.com/Luch-In-Prague.html.
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