September 05, 2008 10:40am
Craven Moorehead & Joe Joe’s Porno Party
Source: Letters to the Editor
by: Craven Moorehead
It’s that time of year again. The summer’s about to end, bathing suits are about to be hung up and tanning lotion is about to be capped, but that doesn’t mean we can’t turn up heat on 2008 one more time. You know what time it is—it’s time to get Wet at Craven Moorehead and Joe Joe’s annual Sunday Porno Party.
On Sunday September 7th, Craven Moorehead will be hosting the largest Wet party yet at his posh Northridge estate, affectionately referred to by those dirty-little-girl-in-the-know as, ''The Compound.'' Okay, we know September 7th is NFL kickoff day and the premiere of Entourage, but we’re ready to hug it out nonetheless until the last man is standing.
Don’t worry. There will be a 65-inch big screen plasma TV to watch the opening games of the 2008- 2009 NFL season and Entourage. Even though the party is in the valley, we’re ''L.A.'' and we know what you want. Just don’t drop your new Blackberry in the pool they don’t respond well to saltwater.
Wet has it all. There will be party favors, stripper poles, free sex toys, BBQ delights, topless bartenders, an inviting, heated salt water pool and much more. As always, clothing is merely optional—unless you’re super hairy or have some kind of gnarliness going on ''downstairs,'' in that case it might be best to keep those panties on. Otherwise, feel free to leave them on the chandelier in the dining room. We’ve got a running collection.
Of course, the men and women of the adult industry will be in attendance. Some of your favorite adult film stars and auteurs are guaranteed to be here. In addition to the beautiful faces from your favorite ''late night delight,'' numerous girls from the Spearmint Rhino will be kicking it, so be sure to buy one of them a drink. As if that wasn’t enough for a sexy party, there may be one or two rock star or celebrity guest appearances, but as always with Wet, there’s no way to know until you get there. Just don’t be a dick-rider and try to take pictures with them on your iPhone.
Details, details, details:
The festivities will commence at noon, and the party won’t stop until the last bra hits the floor. It is required that all men are accompanied by at least one lady—preferably more than one, in case she meets someone cooler than you at the party. There’s no crying at the Compound if Craven steals your chick. The cover charge remains $20 for absolutely everyone.
We don’t care how many MySpace friends you have, you’re paying $20 to get in. However, it’s for a very good cause. A portion of all the proceeds from drinks, admission, food etc. Will be donated to benefit the Adrianne A. & Darlene Wilson Cancer fund set up at the Saint Jude’s Hospital.
Craven Moorehead and Joe Joe care about standing up to cancer, and every little bit helps find a cure. So just know that, for once, all the money you’re spending to meet chicks and drink is going to benefit a good cause.
Wet also features dirty house, filthy rock and sexy hip hop music courtesy of DJ Serafin (Crooklyn Clan), Mark Lewis (Mixology), Jeff Bomb (Groove Radio), MisterE (djmistere. com), Joe Joe (White Label), Sweet P (Glue Ent.) and other special guest DJs.
Lastly, please be courteous and respect the neighbor’s privacy if you are in fact attending Wet. We need to be able to still live here on Monday morning.
Other than that, be ready to get Wet. Get the MapQuest Toolbar. Directions, Traffic, Gas Prices & More!