April 01, 2006 12:00am
Booble Acquires AOL
Source: AOOL Booble
by: Company Press Release
(NEW YORK, NY) -- Time Warner (NYSE TW) announced today it was spinning off its AOL Online subsidiary in an all stock transaction with privately held Booble.com. Booble founder and CEO, Bob Smart will take the reins of the combined company, which will henceforth be known as AOOL.
"Since AOL is founded on dirty chat rooms and the search for and trading of pornographic images, it's only appropriate that it is now firmly in the cleavage of 'the boobs'", said Smart, referring to Booble's distinctive double O logo. "The integration of AOL into Booble will make it much easier for AOOL members to find the boobs they have been seeking".
Analysts applauded the consolidation of the two companies. "We now know what the AOOL running man was running after," said Richard "Dick" Nutz, an analyst who follows Booble stock for Dewey, Fucum and Howe, "And we know that Booble can help him get it, as it has millions of others. AOOL will give Booble the lift it needs to continue its growth."
Smart unveiled the new AOOL logo and mascot at a press conference at the Time Warner plaza in Columbus Circle following the announcement. The new symbol retains the running man, who will now sport a prominent erection. "We think he will appeal more to women this way," quipped the charismatic founder of Booble. Interested parties include Lisa Simpson and Minnie Mouse, and of course hot MILF Betty Boop.
Said Time topkick Big Dick Parsons, found hauling away his take in an armored car: "What AOL needed was fresh blood. There was no other way to make the running man perform." Blushing slightly, the Boobs were overheard saying with their customary humility, "Our cups runneth over"
The revised AOOL home page will feature all the usual AOL features: dirty chat, spam, porn, and, in a major feature upgrade, famous hand tweaked Booble search, which filters out superfluous non-porn search returns.
Smart dismissed rumors that the new company was checking out Microsoft, although he did suggest Redmond giant change its name to Macrohard. "Branding is everything, and small and flaccid won't ever get in with us." Cox Cable, for obvious reasons, is also interested in rubbing up against Booble.
Contact: Bob Smart, Bob@Booble.com